Saturday, June 09, 2007

Bush Confesses to Pope


President Bush begged Pope Benedict XVI for absolution of his many sins. "Father, forgive me for lying. How many times? Let's see, there's too many to calculate in my head. Can I take off my shoes and use my toes to count? Promised investigations that never happened or I successfully whitewashed takes care of the right foot. Big toe is the Plame Name Leak, then Hurricane Katrina, Medicare Dual Eligibles, Justice Department firings, and this little piggy is Israel using U.S. made cluster bombs on Lebanese citizens. Pay no attention to the toe jam. Heck padre, I just told Vladimir I'd 'look into his suggestion' of putting the missile defense system elsewhere. But like my earthly father says, 'not gonna do it!'" The Pope suggested George be more contrite next time, but until then he'll pray for the President's physical and mental health.

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