Monday, May 08, 2006

Bush White House a Sieve, CIA to Be Renamed CHAOS?

Dear President Bush,

You must be livid with more White House leaks! Two senior administration officials leaked your plans to scoot the number 2 man at the CIA over as Vice Admiral Albert Calland III is a military man. This greases the skids for General Michael Hayden’s nomination and saves the CIA endless prank phone calls asking “Do you have Prince Albert in a can?” The CIA secretaries won’t have to quip back “No, but we have Prince Abdullah in a pen. He comes in black and blue. Do you want to be next? If not, quit pranking the CIA. We have your number!”

It appears you are doing the pranking to the CIA with your hand picked men that don’t work out. Porter Goss, the past chief lasted 19 months while Albert, the number 2 guy took over as Deputy Director less than a year ago. Should Michael Hayden not work out, you might look into Agent Maxwell Smart’s availability. He pioneered many high tech spy innovations, much like General Hayden. Max’s shoe phone was quite the invention in its day.

As frequent leadership changes are traumatic for an organization, the CIA may wish to consider changing its name to reflect its corporate culture, CHAOS. Reading between the lines on Mr. Goss’ resignation, top down changes are in order. You noted “he’s helped this agency become integrated into the intelligence community”. My guess is that integration was not enough or not as rapidly as desired.

In accepting his resignation you also noted the history of the CIA, “an organization that is known for its secrecy and accountability”. During his tenure Mr. Goss said several things that call that accountability stamp into question. First, in an interview he shared the CIA makes mistakes. Then in a recent talk with graduating students he suggested “admit nothing, deny everything and make counteraccusations”. When you combine those two statements you are a long way from accountability.

But no one really wants to know the creepy things the CIA does internationally, kidnapping, renditioning, torturing, plotting to overthrow dictators, actually overthrowing democratically elected leaders, saving U.S. and international corporate interests in unfriendly countries, etc.

Often with a leadership change there comes a new brand emphasis. Might I suggest a name change as well. CIA is too short and it doesn’t reflect the true nature of the agency. To further transparency and mission infiltration down the ranks, I offer the following:

Capitalist Haters & Authoritarian Ouster Service

Let me know what you think. I’ll give it to you cheap. Peace,

1 comment:

Unknown said...

Goss was able to single-handidly drive out many of the folks that had worked there for decades..whether that was a good or bad thing..who knows? Methinks it couldn't be that good, but I am just a lowly voter that has no say in who runs CHAOS..er..the CIA.