Monday, July 09, 2007

Way Congress Might Jettison Gitmo: Spinoff!

The U.S. Congress may take a lesson from the business pages to divest itself of the detention facility at Guantanamo Bay. They could sell it to private equity underwriter (PEU) for various uses. Who will line up to buy it? Will it be The Carlyle Group's new public infrastructure division or Mitt Romney's old employer, Bain & Company?

A smart acquirer would hold onto the asset hoping for Romney's election to the Presidency. Mr. Romney stated in a recent debate that he wants "more Guantanamo's". For holding onto the prison for two years max, a PEU could make some serious money selling it back to the feds.

If Mitt isn't elected other options remain for any enterprising PEU. The Cheney's like to vacation in "the tropics." Putting Dick on an advertisement for the resort might draw the persistently creepy from all over the world to the hot spot. In the ad Dick could say "It won't cost an arm and a leg, just a leg."


DoubleCinco said...

I was thinking Gitmo could be turned into one hell(ish)of a retreat center for converts to the one and true faith. And to add to the contemporary nature of such a salvific enterprise the theme song could be: "Our God is red hot, your god ain't doodly squat", sung by Stumpy Ackmed and the IED Boys!

PEU Report/State of the Division said...

Will it be like a seven layer cake as each faith claims to be the one and true? The competing religions could form bands of carolers who roam the countryside singing their God inspired joy. The problem would come in if anyone used the "rat-a-tat-tat" of an AK-47 as a beat line. Therefore, rapping will not be allowed! I can just see the program:

1:00 pm Stumpy Ackmed & the IED Boys
1:30 pm Jones for Jesus
2:00 pm Shiva's Shiving Shivers
2:30 pm Freedhem's Balm, Rectally Applied
3:00 pm Capitalistic Fantastic for those Rich at Heart
3:30 pm Tantrum Mantra
4:00 pm Tao's Oowwww, That Hurt!