Sunday, July 15, 2007

Bush Sports Analogies

President Bush likes to use sports analogies in reference to political issues. He's called his remaining time in office "a sprint to the finish". His said his administration's response to global warming is "a marathon", but it's more like watching a 26.2 mile run from a lawnchair. To help the President with key issues his last year and half in office I offer the following sport's analogies:

Iraq is like Pamplona's Running with the Bulls. The bulls (Iraqi's) hate the people blocking their way to freedom and democracy and gore them.

The Bush health care plan to address the legions of uninsured in America is patterned after Dean Smith's Four Corners Offense in basketball. The UNC genius crafted the stall to keep the number of points scored by the opposition at a minimum. Similarly Bush's policies prevent the huge number of uninsured from making any progress other than getting the opportunity to run up expensive ER bills. And that ain't tar on them heels, those who believe health savings accounts will solve our nation's ills just stepped in some Bush manure.

Presidential appointees looking for a private sector opportunity are often run through The Combine. The positions vary from defense department safeties to homeland security closers to health care trainers. Each is measured for their speed dialing capabilities and access to Bush team insiders with sole source, no bid purchasing power. The end result is a deep draft with those going in the first round pocketing 6 and 7 figure contracts.

Congress is the Tour de France. Political party is equivalent to the cyclist's home country, but their true allegiance is to their team and its sponsors. Each member of Congress rides hard for their committee sponsors. Just as Phonak team riders pull together to help their lead rider, members of the House Ways & Means and Senate Finance Committees align to push ahead health care legislation favorable to their sponsors.

I hope these help President Bush during his year and a half "sprint" to the finish. I hope next time a hurricane strikes the continental U.S. President Bush can get out of the blocks. And for his follow up investigation report, did the athlete pay someone else to write it for him? He didn't get his money's worth as they left out alot of important information...

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