Monday, July 02, 2007

Bush's Logic Behind Commuting Scooter's Sentence

President Bush revealed his logic in changing his mind from "not intervening" to commuting Lewis Libby's two and a half year sentence imposed by a jury of his peers. As a result Mr. Libby will serve no jail time.

"First of all, those people weren't Scooter's or my peers. Middle and lower class people don't know shit. The punishment is just too harsh for a rich, upper class guy like Scooter. Second, when Paris Hilton fell apart in jail I knew Scooter's mind would turn to mush behind bars. There's too much scheming left to be done and we need Libby's manipulative machinations. We have to privatize health care, retirement, get Iraq's and Iran's oil, and launch 'Constitutional' toilet paper. If I can wipe my ass with it, everybody should have a chance to do likewise. I released Scooter so he can help a private equity firm help the government do all this. Plus inmate No. 28301-016 was a shitty number. Take out the dash and that should be Scooter's pay for putting up with all this partisan bullcrap. Oh, and if anyone thinks that $250,000 fine will hurt, recall the millions raised to pay for Scooter's defense. We Republicans take care of our criminals. Ask James Tobin."

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