Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Primates Return to Anglican Church’s Rich History of Getting Trim

The Church of England returned to its core vision in the recent Anglican Communion. Established by Henry VIII to validate his many unsuccessful marriages, how could the church support a same sex union? It was founded to legitimize a monarch’s need to spread his seed, to produce an heir.

Therefore it will only sanction traditional heterosexual relationships and only allow bishops who are wired like Henry VIII. A new communiqué will clarify which genetalia are appropriate for male priests. It includes trim (for health nuts), bush (for the politically oriented) and beaver (for all nature lovers). The “Declaration of Gender Dependence” will be signed by all Anglican primates in a historical moment. Can someone roll the clock back to Galileo’s day?

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