Friday, February 09, 2007

Can Republicans Blame Anna Nicole’s Death on Islamo-fascists?

What if the two leading news stories, Islamo-fascism and the death of a model had an unseen connection? In a David Letterman like dream scene, I can just picture Karl Rove and company discussing ways to spin responsibility for Anna Nicole Smith’s early death on our nation’s dreaded enemies.

KR: Any ideas on how to blame the average Muslim for this?

Staffer #1: Maybe suicide bomber recruitment is down and they needed another virgin in heaven to entice the loyal fighting oppression. (SMACK!)

KR: Do you listen to your own words? Do I have to hit you again? Anna Nicole had two children, not a virgin. And never refer to our enemy in anything other than rabid terms!

Staffer #2: No ideas boss. (CRACK!) Dang Karl, that hurt! Can you please put the whip away?

KR: I pay you to produce, no ideas is not an option.

Staffer #2: OK, let’s say she died from drugs. We blame heroin produced in Afghanistan. Although I’m not sure how we drag the Islamo-fascists in as the Taliban virtually stopped opium production during their heavy handed rule of the country. (SMACK!). Hey, I’m still working on it Karl. Get this, the Taliban now produces and sells smack for American consumption!

KR: This has potential. Can anyone build on it?

Staffer #3: I suggest we find a Muslim sounding employee at the hotel and frame them for delivering high strength heroin, drugging her nurse, substituting it for her prescribed medications, thus resulting in her death. We say she was found not breathing on her bed covered by a burka.

KR: Good! Quick call the clean up crew to implement Plan Z on inspiring Islamo-phobia in the United States. They took our modern day Marilyn much too young.

“Peace be upon her” while the maelstrom left behind continues to swirl toward Category 5….

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