Kenyan Evangelical Bishop Has God’s Time Converter

Unearthed next to a ancient skeleton stood a special clock that converts God’s time to human time. Kenyan Bishop Boniface Adoyo uses one while spitting on the other. The head of 10 million evangelicals in 35 denominations called the find of the prehistoric human “the sort of silly news that is killing our faith”.

Instead of life millions year old on earth, the Bishop believes God created all 12,000 years ago with humans arriving some 6,000 years later. Using the ancient clock converter Bishop Adoyo calculated each God year to be 1,000 human years.

So why would one relic offer insights and the other blasphemy? In reality there is no antique instrument for converting God time to human. Bishop Adoyo came to his conclusions using some other basis. The Bible is his source for the sequence of events but not his conversion tables. His Evangelical group is the only one protesting the coming museum exhibition displaying fossil finds in his home country.

Other Kenyans are able to keep their Christian faith while appreciating the science of Earth’s natural record. Why does the Bishop feel the need to use it as a science textbook? Those not threatened by the display will have the opportunity to see much.

Among the 160,000 fossils due to go on display is an imprint of a lizard left in sedimentary rock, dating back 200 million years, at a time when the Earth's continents were only beginning to separate.

Dinosaur fossils and a bone from an early human ancestor, dating back 7 million years, will also be on show along with the bones of short-necked giraffes and elephants whose tusks protrude from their lower jaws.

They provide the clearest and unrivaled record yet of evolution and the origins of man, say scientists.

If the Bishop is anything like American political operatives, he will attack the proponents of evolution as un-Kenyan, a nation founded clearly on Christian principles or he could just destroy the evidence. Recalculating a formula to make the stat look better won’t work in this case, unless God years are in the millions…