Monday, January 22, 2007

Jack Cafferty's State of the Union Week

Q: Is there anything the average person can do about the war in Iraq? (Two answers are offered below)

A: Nope, but we can put a stop to any planned tampering in Venezuela. Hugo Chavez's nationalization of his country's telecom and electrical power generation facilities puts $6 billion of Fidelity's holdings at some financial risk (Verizon, AES Corp, and American Movil). Guess who's the ex-chair of Fidelity? Current Defense Department Chief Bob Gates recently relinquished that title but I bet they still have his cell phone number...

A: We can all wear our "Bush Number 1 Terrorist" t-shirts when we fly. In addition to sending the President yet another message, this act will fuel the economy. Airlines will keep revenue for services not provided and rental car companies will make out like bandits with one way rentals.

Q: Should the United States cut off funding for Iraq reconstruction and instead pay for Hurricane Katrina recovery?

A: Both devastation zones temporarily had a sports team to take their mind off their misery. New Orleans had the Saints go far in the playoffs while Iraq's soccer team ended up in second place in the Asian tournament. In order to keep America's tax cuts for the rich we should have the Saints play Iraq in soccer in the Green Zone. That should provide cover for the latest billion in Iraqi Reconstruction funds to end up in the pocket of either President's friends.

Q: Will Sen. Hillary Clinton's husband be an asset or a liability in a run for the White House?

A: Can America elect someone other than a Bush or Clinton into the White House? Banish the thought of either royal family occupying the throne yet again. That includes Hillary or Jeb, Neil or Roger, Chelsea or Barbara or Jenna

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