Thursday, January 11, 2007

Jack Cafferty on Bush’s Iraq

Jack Cafferty of CNN unleashed a slew of questions on Iraq the last day or so. I had to weigh in.

Q: Did the President say anything to change your mind on Iraq?

A: Nope, but he sure confirmed my suspicions about our and Israel's plans to deprive Iran of their nuclear enrichment capabilities. Expect a repeat of last summer's Israeli unilateral attack, however instead of accelerating bomb shipments to our ally, President Bush will use all our military might to contain Iran's retaliatory impulse.

Q: What is the definition of failure in Iraq?

A: Failure in Iraq is:

1) A government whose leaders live in other countries
2) A country which has grown more violent since the capture and execution of a viscious dictator and the bombing of the lead al-Qaeda insurgent
3) When its lead benefactor jettisons a report from the "best minds" in America to do what he damn well pleases
4) When U.S. President Bush escalates his mountain bike of violence by ramping up the rpm's, yet can't seem to get any traction.

Q: How much longer will President Bush be allowed to prosecute the war in Iraq on his own terms?

A: As long as our spineless Congress allows

Q: Does President Bush’s legacy depend on the war in Iraq?

A: Of course Bush's legacy depends on Iraq. He's even said as much. From "Stay the Course" to "No Big Moves (B.M.'s)" the President shifted to a month long digestion of "advice" based on a menu of options and realities on the ground. Insurgents provided a daily dose of jalapeno, bean and chipotle cheese burritos upsetting our nation's constitution.

The combination produced considerable pressure going nearly 30 days without production. It will be released tonight on national TV. Much of the electorate will retch at President Bush's "New Way Forward". Even Lysol won't cover the stench...

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