Saturday, June 03, 2006

Jeb Bush Encourages Family Alcoholism & Cannibalism

Dear President Bush,

In a bold policy move, your brother Florida governor Jeb Bush challenged a most heinous form of discrimination. Jeb is piloting a program to right a wrong perpetuated against a class of family members by societal institutions. No the issue is not formal sanction of committed long term relationships by same sex couples.

It is the inability of dogs to dine with their owners in restaurants! Previously only service animals had the right to dine with their owners.

The measure creates a three-year pilot program, and the state will determine whether to continue it. Allowing dogs to dine will be up to each county, and even if it's allowed, restaurant owners will still decide individually whether to participate.

Bush said the bill will allow dog lovers and their pets to "have a brewski together, have a hot dog together or whatever they want outdoors."

What happens when a weiner dog orders and eats a hot dog? Is that cannibalism? Who feeds their dogs beer (that no longer lives in a fraternity house)?

"It just seems like it's a small thing but it's going to be an important thing for a whole lot of people," Jeb said.

I believe you and yourr brother are aware of another important thing for a whole lot of people, healthcare. I suggest the both of you put your heads together on that and please don’t do so over a brewski and a hot dog! We need you both to be at your sharpest.

Bush signed the bill holding Sen. Charlie Clary's dog, Dixie Cup, which provided a seconding paw print.

Yes, heinous family discrimination is finally coming to an end in Florida while a different form explodes nationwide, courtesy of your myopia. Will Dixie Cup also be signing the Federal Marriage Amendment? Write me back, I want to know your thoughts on this important piece of legislation.

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