Thursday, June 15, 2006

First Wave Due to Enter Predator Stimulus Minimization Centers, 2nd Group Identified in Arkansas

(AP) President Bush announced a crackdown on illegal immigrants of the most dangerous kind. Federal agents rounded up over 2,100 illegals the last three weeks going after child molesters, violent gang members, and past deportees who re-entered the country. This group will be the first to enter the President’s Predator Stimulus Minimization Centers. Child molesters prey on children, violent gang members on unsuspecting citizens, and past deportees prey on Americans looking for good paying jobs.

A second group of harmful people is next on the slate for detention in the President’s centers, designed to keep the average and normal American’s marriage safe. Homosexuals of any legal immigration status are scheduled to join the dangerous illegal aliens. As the state of Arkansas noted in determining its foster parent rules, homosexuals endanger "children’s moral and spiritual welfare". The gay roundup will start in Little Rock and work its way out concentrically, until all of Arkansas is covered.

The President anticipates a third wave joining those detained for the safety of others, child molesters that are legal citizens but not Roman Catholic Priests. Negotiations with the Vatican are ongoing as to how those dangerous "men of God" will be quarantined from the general population. Once those details are hammered out, the White House will announce the deal with much fanfare. Tony Snow hinted at a banner that says “Mission Accomplished: Americans Safe at Home”.

P.S. The AP at the beginning of the post signifies the author’s initials and much of this post is fiction, untrue, made up. Only the first 2 sentences are true.

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