Monday, June 05, 2006

Bush Rallies Gay Marriage Opponents with Symbolic Sperm & Egg Toss

Dear President Bush,

Your advisors get more creative every day in designing ways for your positions to get the attention of the American people. I heard you were angry when all those gay couples with their children attended the White House Easter Egg Hunt. And I know how much you hate Islamist fundamentalists who incite terror to achieve their ends. But combining the two is a stroke of genius!

In the Eisenhower Executive Office Building, President Bush prepared a visual demonstration of his call for marriage to be between a man and a woman. He noted the joining of the two is what creates children, what grows a family. Other relationships cannot produce children. As he spoke of the male-male combination, the curtain opened to reveal a line of naked Muslim men, hooded in black bags. Military officers with weapons poking in their prisoners' sides ordered them to masturbate as the President continued his speech.

When the President got to the female-female combination he had a line of lesbians headed by Mary Cheney throw raw eggs against a wall. When they splattered, Pres. Bush said “With no sperm to cook them, the eggs didn’t develop and no chicks were produced. Let this be a lesson to us all. And that is why I am for the federal marriage amendment. I hope our elected leaders in Congress will learn from this demonstration and support its passage.”

Tell Karl to keep up the good work!

P.S. This post is fiction and intended for humorous purposes only. Any other use is expressly prohibited!

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