Monday, June 19, 2006

Heterosexual National Guard Ordered to New Orleans

(AP) Governor Blanco ordered National Guard troops to New Orleans in response to recent violent outbursts. Per the Pentagon’s policy on homosexuality being a mental illness, only heterosexual Guard members will be deployed. The Governor’s office viewed this as a double safety precaution given Rev. Pat Robertson’s assertion that New Orleans was smote by God for its homosexual debauchery.

The Guard members also hope to have a positive influence on New Orleans youth. Having heterosexual troops will allay any of the fears that served as the basis for Arkansas banning homosexual foster parents. Sending hetero soldiers should help area “children’s moral and spiritual welfare”. The Governor should be quite proud as her strategy appears to be a winner on all fronts for homosexual hating Christian Republicans. You mean she is a Democrat?

P.S. This post is fiction, untrue, made up except for the parts about the Guard being deployed to New Orleans, the Pentagon policy on homosexuality being a mental illness and Arkansas banning gay foster parents. The AP at the beginning of the post represents the author’s initials.

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