Monday, June 19, 2006

Hazelton PA Volunteers for Bush’s First Predator Stimulus Minimization Center

(AP) In an unusual move the Hazelton city council passed measures guaranteed to fill President Bush’s signature strategy for keeping Americans safe at home, removal of predators from the streets. The city 80 miles northwest of Philadelphia is targeting illegal immigrants who take good paying American jobs in their initial street cleaning effort. Mayor Lou Barletta, a Republican said “Illegal immigrants are destroying the city. I don’t want them here, period.”

The measures enacted include revoking business licenses of companies that employ illegal immigrants, imposing $1,000 fines on landlords who rent to illegals, and making English the official city language. Reactions to the plan vary from a standing ovation for the mayor when he entered a diner for lunch to a legal immigrant suggesting “the mayor is confusing illegal people with criminals”.

President Bush expects the Halliburton contracted facility to be completed in 16 months after which he will inaugurate the first Predator Stimulus Minimization Center. This PSMC will be designed without jobs or employment for the illegals serving time. Only English will be spoken. Detainees breaking the English only rule will be subject to abuse that does not elevate to torture, courtesy of in training CIA and Defense Intelligence agents.

P.S. Most of this post is untrue, fiction, made up except for the part about the Hazelton crackdown on illegal immigrants and Halliburton's contract to construct detention facilities. The AP at the beginning of the post represents the author’s initials.

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