Tuesday, September 19, 2006

New Family Value, Torture!

Apparently listening to sermons preaching fire and brimstone isn’t torturous enough. Family values means more than just imaging the damning lake of fire, it entails ensuring Biblical level suffering is inflicted upon infidels. The techniques have been updated for our century. Rather than dunk suspected evildoers in the closest river or lake, modern day plumbing enables the drowning to occur inside a jail cell.

Two techniques approximate a winter time dunking in the Elizabeth River. One, the prisoner is kept naked in a 50 degree cell and splashed with cold water for days at a time. The second is called waterboarding, where the prisoner only thinks they are drowning. Really they are just suffocating due to plastic wrap over their face while water splashes over them.

Groups endorsing these practices include the Family Research Council and The Traditional Values Coalition. Apparently these are common adolescent behavior modification practices in the Biblical family known for treating others the way they wish to be treated. Leaders of both groups implied those blocking the President’s plan to use coercive techniques and testimony, hearsay, and restrict access to evidence will pay the political price.

Maverick status is looked upon as a strength in Congress, but a maverick in the White House is not looked upon with great admiration from our folks," Tony Perkins, president of the Family Research Council, said Monday.

"Politically, this isn't wise," added the Rev. Louis Sheldon, chairman of the Traditional Values Coalition, which supports the president's call for Congress to approve tough interrogation techniques for terrorism suspects.

Tony Perkins and Rev. Sheldon likely desire the day any God fearing Christian can simply shout “This person is possessed” and the might of governmental power descends upon the innocent victim. Yes, bring back the use of hearsay that saw many innocents in America’s early history exterminated for crop failures and violent storms.

Yet, there is no price for the government's failure to live up to America's traditional values.

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