Sunday, July 15, 2007

Setting the Record Straight

President Bush and Vice President Cheney took time out from their important meeting to dictate a message to the blogger known as State of the Division. The transcript of their statement is below:

President Bush: The White House passionately disagrees with everything SOD wrote in his time blogging. The Bush administration did not abandon hospital and nursing home patients post Hurricane Katrina, we were test marketing a new form of Survivor with CBS. That's why we didn't need to include The Carlyle Group's LifeCare Hospital patient deaths in our "Lessons Learned" report. Valuable space was needed to cover plot lines and camera angles. Do you recall Michael Brown's outfit planning? The report asked Paris Hilton what's hotter, acute care patients sweltering in steamy, fetid dead hospitals or Michael Brown showing a little chest hair? The White House understands America's priorities, unlike Mr. Sodden. However, to show our ability to rise above, we wish Lantern well in his time "vacationing in the Tropics". Calm down Dick.

Vice President Dick Cheney: Orange jump suit, there Lantern! Soon it too will be sodden, urine, sweat or blood? Your choice.

P.S. Of course neither man said such things, however, they may have thought them after finding two collections of Mr. Sodden's political commentary in the Library of Congress. The question is whether SMU will stock the books at the Bush Library?

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