Saturday, June 23, 2007

Confidential Report from Office of Global Communications

The White House established a an Office of Global Communications over 4 years ago. President Bush issued an executive order January 21, 2003 creating both an office and team to manage information and messages promoting U.S. positions abroad. The President charged it with using state of the art media and coordinating the creation of temporary teams of communicators for short-term placement in areas of high global interest and media attention.

The President did restrict the team from running wild around the world. "No information team shall be deployed abroad without prior consultation with the Department of State and the Department of Defense, and prior notification to the Office of the Assistant to the President for National Security Affairs." Please don't let the CIA's recent revelations of lying and behaving illegally over a thirty year period concern you! The Office of Global Communications has to be truthful, unless a lie would effect U.S. interests abroad! Confused?

Moving on, how well has the office worked since its establishment? This question is timely given the abysmal perception of the United State's government around the world. It turns out the office may have been used to manage domestic events as well.

As the flame rose under Attorney General Alberto Gonzales' backside, did the Global Communications Team gather next to the tattered sofa in the White House basement to create "a haze"? Is that what produced the "fuzzy memories" as they jammed to Purple Haze?

Did the Global Communications Office turn Fox News into the T & A News channel? Is that why the boys rely almost exclusively on Fox for their "news"?

What role has this office played in the puff pieces that turn citizens' heads away from Bush administration incompetence or malfeasance? Are they working on the next Anna Nicole Smith or Paris Hilton?

How will they vilify the next entertainment star who acts their conscience against America's international heavy handedness? Who will be the next "Hanoi Jane", still fresh after all these years? Did Global Communications reach down into Peru to smack Cameron Diaz for her totebag?

I'm sure they're busy trying to make Dick Cheney look like something other than a mad scientist's monster. And the challenge of making George Bush look, much less sound Presidential is a monumental task. But what is the Office of Global Communications really up to as they haven't updated their webpage since March of 2005? Is that information hidden beyond public eyes like the Vice President's office?

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