Monday, November 06, 2006

New Way for Congress to Deal with Earmarks!

This independent voter believes the light of accountability needs to be shone on earmarks, federal expenditures surreptitiously inserted into bills to benefit member’s districts. This can be achieved by having special identifiers behind the proposed project which indicate which Congressperson submitted the earmark. Examples of such identifiers are below.

Rep. Mark Foley could submit “Leermarks”
Patrick Kennedy “Beermarks”
Tom Delay “Sneermarks”
Dennis Hastert could be “Landmarks1” and Harry ReidLandmarks2(skinny and fat typefaces could also differentiate the two).

Rep. William Jefferson tosses around “freezermarks”
Senator Bill Frist’s pork could be titled “stockmarks”
Rep. Katherine Harris’s submissions can be identified simply by the makeup smudges and tear stains, however not to leave her out they can be called “PsychoBarbiemarks”.

Rep. Don Sherwood could slip in “Sex&chokemarks”
Senator Conrad Burns offers “LittleGuatemalanManmarks”.

Influential people in districts also request earmarks.

Rev. Ted Haggard could ask for a “Queermark”
Rev. Pat Robertson needs funding for a Christian Theme Park in our 51st state, thus a “IsraeliParkmark”.

The Reverend Jerry Falwell is fighting his “War on Christmas” and we know how expensive wars can be. Will Congress give Jerry his “Warmark”?

And what of Presidential pork submitted by our nation's CEO in his budget, should those be called "Karlmarks"? Will Jeff Flake take this request seriously as he pursues his war on earmarks? Time will tell…

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