Monday, November 13, 2006

New Catholic Communion Cost Savings

A struggling U.S. Catholic Church continues to reel under the financial pressures of lawsuit settlements, reduced mass attendance and a shortage of priests. In the midst of this dire situation American Bishops reiterated several key church positions. They reminded their followers of the requirements of Holy Communion, the church’s view of gays as “intrinsically disordered”, and the only natural method of birth control which is followed by just 4% of Catholics.

In order to receive communion, followers must comply with church teachings. Non celibate gays and couples using artificial contraception should be denied communion if the priest has discussed the church’s position with them.

Given that 96% of women in child bearing years don’t comply with church teachings, it looks like the wine and unleavened bread budget can be slashed, especially if their husbands must also abstain from partaking. Throw in the gays with active sex lives and even greater cost savings can be generated.

Have the Catholic bureaucrats learned from their U.S. government counterparts? By throwing in a regulation or two, Congress regularly sheds people from entitlement or voter rolls. Ask American citizens on Medicaid who weren’t born in a hospital and don’t drive a car.

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