Bush Leads Dive in Ethical Standards

President Bush eagerly dove off the ethical high dive years ago. As he resurfaces with nose plug intact and his Speedo around his ankles, our nation's CEO looks for diversions to occupy the crowd.

"Look over there. Doctors are accepting money from drug companies." The crowd turns their gaze as Bush snickers. 'Never mind those are the same companies that helped my man Tom Scully write the Medicare Part D Prescription Drug benefit back in 2003'.

As Bush gets his teal blue Speedo around knee height, the crowd turns back to their leader booing the bad doctors. Thinking quickly the President offers another diversion. "Look at those Democrats politicizing the firing of 8 attorney generals who serve at my pleasure." As the throng turned Bush thought about another sadistic pleasure, but didn't want to exit the pool with a woody.

The partisan crowd quickly booed the Democrats. The President's manhood still rested outside his trunks. Another deception would be needed to get his dong inside his thong. "Look at the handful of bad CEO's taking extra compensation by backdating stock options." The onlookers turned away from the President's shining ass to find his Uncle Bucky pocketing hundreds of thousands in unearned compensation from corporate cheating.

Bush did not want the American public to know that 30% of publicly traded companies cheated on their "pay for performance" programs for leaders (with some 10% cheating at the Board or governance level). He couldn't let the people see how corruption was endemic in corporate America or how his political party and family of origin mined such company "assets".

The President yanked down his Speedo while yelling at the crowd. They turned to see his shriveled manhood on full display, which gave Uncle Bucky time to get away. When he noted his Uncle's identity safe, Bush pulled up his drawers. "That folks was a glitch. Now that y'all got a peek, I'm off to find that sniveling snitch who keeps uncovering my private parts. Anyone got the address for Lantern Sodden?"