Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Scott “Pinnochio” McClellan’s Wish Comes True

April 19, 2006

Dear President Bush,

The wooden boy’s wish to become a real person is in sight. White House Press Secretary, Scott McClellan, just announced his resignation. He looks forward to being unrestrained by clipped phrases and offense-first defense strategies.

McClellan has this to say:

“I wished upon a star and along came Josh Bolten. Thank God he free me from Georgepetto. It was so cool when Josh said ‘little puppet made of pine, awake. The gift of life is thine”. And then I turned into a real human being. Funny thing, my mouth tasted like crap. Is that what they have been feeding me? And is that what I have been giving to the press and the American people? Well, no more!”

Georgepetto beamed as he noted Scotty’s newfound independence.

Bush said McClellan had "a challenging assignment." “I thought he handled his assignment with class, integrity," the president said. "It's going to be hard to replace Scott, but nevertheless he made the decision and I accepted it. One of these days, he and I are going to be rocking in chairs in Texas and talking about the good old days."

Scotty noted his advancement to human came just in the nick of time, as Georgepetto was getting short on wood needed to make those rocking chairs.

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