Saturday, April 22, 2006

Bush Volunteers for Bio-Suit on Earth Day

April 22, 2006

Dear President Bush,

How exciting that you will be the latest politician to wear the research bio-suit, on Earth Day to boot! I read last summer of the cutting edge research being done on cow emissions using a bio-bubble. An enterprising research assistant was interested in studying politicians and must have perfected the technology as well as found funding.

It is exciting the United States’ rapid scientific progress enabled the development of a smaller study tool, the bio-suit. Equally invigorating is the suit’s readiness for testing on people with the most emissions, politicians and corporate CEO’s.

Did you use your political capital to get high on the list? Only Tom Delay and Exxon CEO Lee Raymond beat you to the punch. After swimming in their own emissions for several days, both men retired. While they have been unwilling to look in the mirror, they were able to smell the stench of their verbal and anal emissions. There may be some greater benefit to the bio-suit after all.

How will your day in the biosuit turn out? I hear you will undertake your regular activities.
Bush's bike ride Saturday was no Earth Day stunt. The president rides on most weekend mornings, but made the special detour to overnight in St. Helena just to get in a picturesque ride through wine country. He had no official events there.

"I can't wait," Bush told his San Jose audience. "I'll be plugged into an iPod inside the biosuit. Cool music and hot air make for one surreal combination."

What will the test results reveal? Write me back and let me know as I am most interested.

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