Bolten Rearranging Deck Chairs on Titanic

Dear President Bush,

Is Josh just joshing you that the White House shake up is anything other than rearranging the deck chairs on a sinking ship? His five point plan sounds like shifting the chaise lounges from the Promenade to the Lido Deck. Time magazine listed his priorities in the May 1 issue.

1. Display guns and badges
2. Make Wall Street happy
3. Brag more
4. Reclaim security credibility
5. Court the press

The challenge will be how to balance #1 and #2. How will you allow enough low wage immigrants to sneak into the country to feed American business’ addiction to paying poverty wages.

As for #3, you might have to do something worth bragging about. It noted Iraq’s weighted noose dragging down your approval ratings. Did you see the article a few pages later on kidnapping young Iraqi girls and selling them as sex slaves? That wasn’t supposed to be a benefit of democracy.

Under #4 there is the current standoff between you and the Iranian President over nuclear technology. In a twisted game of international poker both players keep raising the stakes. Who will finally call the other? Will one accuse the other of cheating inciting a round of fisticuffs?

Do you plan to execute #5 via continued news leaks? Yet another story slithered its way from the bowels of the White House indicating Tony Snow as the lead candidate for the sorriest job in the word, serving as your mouthpiece. Are you aware of Mr. Snow’s recent comments on your performance as President?

"His (Bush's) wavering conservatism has become an active concern among Republicans, who wish he would stop cowering under the bed and start fighting back against the likes of Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi and Joe Wilson," Snow wrote last November after Republicans failed to win the governor's race in Virginia. "The newly passive George Bush has become something of an embarrassment."

Yes, all our country needs is newly aggressive George Bush, just in time for the Iranian escalation. My hope is that Josh puts you to work hauling deck chairs as your administration continues to take on water. Someone needs to be repairing the ever widening hole below the waterline caused by ceaseless win/lose political gamesmanship. Josh’s 5 point plan will simply make the hole larger, sinking the ship faster.

You are aware of the movie being re-made and slated for a summer release, The Poseidon Adventure. What will be your wave this next season? Will it be another mismanaged hurricane aftermath, high gas prices, the Iranian escalation, an Iraqi implosion, another immigration stumble?

Better get Josh to keep his head up or give Tony Snow an office next to the bridge. The rest of your crew has shown their inability to monitor the horizon and act appropriately. They are too busy trying to ram the competition's boat.

If you are counting on this to re-invigorate your Presidency and lift your record low approval ratings out of the toilet, don’t hold your breath. We don’t want you turning blue while the rest of country turns beet red over your consistently poor performance as our nation’s CEO.