Downside to iPope is Lightning Strikes

Scientists say one downside to the high tech connection to the Vatican is lightning strikes. Users of the iPope have found the device a potent conductor of God's retribution. They've experienced chest burns, even ruptured ear drums when lightning strikes nearby. In a strange set of coincidences virtually all iPope users were deep in the iConfess function when the external shock occurred.

Apparently the Pope is using the GPS location capability within the iPope to target the sinner. A special deal with the U.S. military gives him access to America's latest space weapon, code named the God Bolt. Pope Benedict is said to enjoy shocking grievous sinners so much, he spends hours at the controls. The question is whether any are converted?

Followers Excited to Purchase iPopes

Previous purchasers of the Pope-a-phone are ecstatic about upgrading to iPope. When the man pictured above found iPopes still in stock he yelled "Holy See it!" Another excited fan said "It has all the same cool features as the Pope-a-Phone. Hit 7 for the pontiff's daily message, one zero gets you a reading of the Ten Commandments both Classic and Roadweary, and 666 reaches Phone-a-Confession. But the iPope adds real time maps of the Vatican showing the Pope's location, the video camera where the Cardinals can monitor my following of Catholic teaching, and Charge-a-Tithe with Pa-pal. I am so pumped. Now I can give my Pope-a-Phone to my parents." Popeaphiles truly have something to cheer about.

Vatican Launches iPope

The Vatican announced its entry into the word of high tech communications with the unveiling of the iPope. The unit offers a phone, music player, and internet like the iPhone but it adds one critical feature, a video camera controlled remotely by the Vatican. This way the Pope can see if a driver is following his recently released Ten Commandments for the Road. It also allows the pontiff to record elected representatives votes on key issues. And good Catholics using birth control, better put that iPope in the drawer!